In Translation | "Family Computer" by Kozy Watanabe

Would you shut up already?

Listen, mom: a frog is only ever going to give birth to more frogs. You know what I mean? You and dad ain't anything special, so you can't go expecting me to be anything special, either. Doesn't matter how much you make me study, or force me to go to those dumb after school classes, or have a tutor show up to terrorize me at home, it ain't gonna help. You can't fight nature.

And I know, you're here believing that tired idea about how our children contain infinite potential, but I'm here to tell you that's all bull. Say there's a couple and they're tiny little people who give birth to a tiny little baby. There's no way for them to raise that kid into a six foot six stud. And say this tiny little baby grows up to be a whole four foot eleven; I don't care how hard they try, at that height, they'll never be a real basketball player.

It only tracks that if two average parents have a kid, that kid is destined to be average, too. Where do you think us kids get our face and voice and body and personality from? It's all from you guys, right? You two are the architects of my brain. So don't you think it's a bit unfair to expect me to make into an ivy league when both of you are graduates of the Two-Bit College of Nowhere?

Come on, don't get all mad. This is exactly the problem I'm talking about. You're always too emotional. You don't live with any logic.

Oh, you want to blame this all on video games now? Think they're to blame for my thoughts? Well, you might just be right.

I've learned a lot thanks to games. Take horse raising sims. You know that a horse's potential is almost entirely decided by the blood of its parents? It's true. And that's not just fanciful game logic: it's a reflection of the real world. If two champion horses breed, guess what? Their kid's going to follow in their footsteps. And if two failures get it on, well, you get something like me, with a go-nowhere dad in a third rate company and an old hag for a mom.

Ugh, what did I just say? I'm talking science, there's no point getting all worked up. We don't need the tears. No one wants to hear your sob story about you "never raised your kid to be like this."

Honestly, you'd agree with me if you played one of these games. Just look at the newest one. It's called DNA Simulation - you pair people up together to make kids. You know about DNA? Or is that too complicated an idea for you. DNA decides our genes, decides our minds and our bodies and everything that we are.

In the game, one of a billion possible children can be born depending on the parameters of the parent's DNA. Then you decide the kid's future and goals in accordance with their stats and raise them through life. Have them study, get them jobs, have them do whatever you can to make them succeed in life. But the way the game works is, what you can do is nearly entirely decided on those base stats of the parents. So it's better to work in reverse. First you decide what kind of a person you want - a scientist or politician or baseball player or whatever - and then you choose an appropriate parent pairing to create that child. The game's really all about matching up DNA pairs for the perfect couple.

It's thanks to games like DNA Simulation that my mind was opened to the truth: that the status of a person is 90% decided in their genes.

DNA Simulation is more than just a game, you see. It's also genuine DNA analysis software. Input the mental and physical stats of a couple and you can see the quality of kid they'll produce. All you need are their age, build, and basic personal history to get perfectly detailed results, Of course, it's even better if you also put in the data of the grandparents. You can learn a lot about yourself this way - see all your limits and walls.

That's what I did. I threw in your and dad's data.

Turns out dad's DNA type is B-67324567, and mom, you're an F-01964270. Mix those up and you get me, type D-82563429. That's all the proof you need, the numbers don't lie. I was born a certified nobody; being a failure is in my blood.

Look, if you set up a game scenario with a D-82563429 type human and have him study for, say, an average of ten hours every day until he's out of high school, his probably of getting into a good school like Tokyo University is still less than 10%. But how about sports? Do the most efficient training available every day until twenty and the best possible time running the 100 meter dash is a whopping 10.90 seconds. Imagine dedicating your life to such a nothing time. That's why I've given up on studying and quit going to clubs. What's the point?

You're looking paler than usual. The truth freaking you out? Well then you'll love what I'm going to say next.

Mom. Your marriage was a mistake. An F-01 base DNA type like yourself should've been looking for a type G categorized partner. If you'd done that, you could've at least had a kid half decent at science. All you had to do was marry a good G-09 man and I could've been an academic. It wasn't me that failed. It's you.

Yeah, I thought that'd shut you up. No reason to look so mad about it, though. Like I said: it's science.

It's too bad, you know. In the game, if you get a kid with the parameters you don't want, all you gotta do is kill them and start over. Resetting for a better partner to reroll a higher stat offspring is way easier than dealing with some useless trash.

Whoa, what's the big idea? What are you doing? Come on, that hurts, stop it.

N-no, stop. Sto-